Gender-free parenting?

I am not sure exactly how we got on the subject, but my husband asked if I would treat our child different if she were a boy.  He ascertains that he has (and everyone should have) a gender-less approach to parenting where sons and daughters are treated exactly the same.

I had to think about this.

The answer is “no”. And the answer is “yes”. It depends on how you answer the question.

I would treat them the same in that I fight for my children not to be boxed in by society’s gender roles.  I want my girls to explore science. To not be afraid of being strong, outspoken leaders. And I want my boys to explore the arts. To not be afraid of showing their feelings and being honest about what is important to them (even if it is not “manly”).

However, in that treating them the same and being the voice inside their head that speaks out against the ways society restricts them, my actions might be different.  I might spend more time encouraging my son to talk about and express a whole range of emotions.  I might spend more time encouraging my daughter to be interested in engineering.  Why? Because those are areas where our culture (in my estimation) is failing all children.

So, which is it? Would I treat a son different than a daughter?

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