It was bound to happen— I have already missed a day. I suppose I can take pleasure in the fact that I am , in fact, improving. Last year or the year before, I missed November 1st. That year I posted on the 2nd, thinking it was the 1st, and only later realized my mistake. This year I made it a whole two days!
That said, it gives me the opportunity to practice a skill that I am working on: forgiving myself.
I cannot be everything to everyone. I cannot be everywhere all the time. I can’t see the future and avoid mistakes that at the time made sense. I can’t protect myself from making friends with people who end up not being worthy of the friendship. I cannot give up eating cookies and be happy at the same time. I cannot be superwoman at work and supermom at home and have the house clean. I am accepting that the only reason my house is clean is because of the amazing Liza who cares for it.
The Marine Ball is coming up and so are the inevitable questions about dresses. This is one area where I have always excelled: I forgive my body and its failings. I accept that I have a sweat tooth and don’t like physical activity. My body grew and amazing, smart, brave girl inside of it and has never really recovered. I strongly believe that dresses should be comfortable; that you should be able to sit, eat, and dance in them without worry; and that if your old dresses don’t fit your current body, you should buy or rent a new dress.
I need to apply this logic, this forgiveness, this acceptance of me in other areas too. Who knew that personal growth would take so much work and so many pep talks!