Boy or Girl?

Is our little elephant, you know, the one growing inside of me a boy or a girl? Everyone seems obsessed with the question. Now that my bump has gone from shy “Are you expecting?” to “Is it a boy or a girl?”, I think about the question a lot more.  Of course, I think about it 1) because everyone is asking and 2) because knowing would help us narrow down the name game also known as the hair pulling, crying, we agree on nothing game.

So… since the little elephant wouldn’t share at his/ her last ultrasound, let’s recur to popular culture:

  BOY GIRL HUH???
If your belly is round it is a boy if it is pointy it is a girl: BOY    
If you carry low it is a boy, if you carry high it is a girl:     ???
If you are more hairy it is a boy, if hair just grows faster it is a girl:   GIRL  
If your belly is round it is a boy, if it is watermelon shaped, the baby is a girl: BOY    
If your baby’s heartrate is over 140 it is a girl, if it is under, it is a boy:   GIRL  
If you have more zits, it is a girl; if not, it will be a boy: BOY    
If you can tell you are pregnant from behind it is a girl, if you can’t, it will be a boy: BOY    
If your diet was rich in lactose before getting pregnant, you will have a girl:   GIRL  
If you crave meat it is a boy, if you crave mac’n’cheese it is a girl:   GIRL  
If you crave salty foods it is a boy, if you crave sweets it is a girl: BOY    
If you tie your wedding ring to some thread, hang it over your stomach and it moves in circles, then it is a boy: ***I have no wedding ring.     ???
If your skin is oily, you will have a girl; if your skin is dry, it will be a boy: BOY    
If you suffered morning sickness during your first 12 weeks it will be a girl: ***Perhaps triplets considering the morning sickness is still here.   GIRL  
If your left breast is bigger than your right it will be a boy, vice versa and it will be a girl:     ???
If you are more moody than usual, it will be a girl: ***although we could blame the morning sickness and lack of sleep for this one too.   GIRL  
If you sleep on your left side it is a boy, if you sleep on your right it is a girl: BOY GIRL ???
If your urine is dull yellow, it is a girl; if it is bright yellow, it is a boy: ***Also, for both, you are dehydrated. BOY    
If you combine your age at the time of conception with the number of the month you conceived and the resulting number is even, then you will have a boy:     ???
If your feet become cold more quickly than before you were pregnant, then it will be a boy:   GIRL  
If your husband puts on weight during the pregnancy, it will be a girl: BOY    
If your face is round and rosy, you are having a girl: BOY    
If you think you are having a boy, you will have a boy; if you think you are having a girl, you will have a girl:  ***Note, this did not work well for my mother who wasn’t named for several days b/c my grandparents were sure it was a boy.     ???
If you drink a shot of vodka per day during the pregnancy, you will have a boy:  ***This I was told during my Peace Corps days in Moldova. Ugh!   GIRL  

And, drum roll please, according to the folklore: I have a 40% chance of having a boy, a 36% chance of having a girl and a 24% chance of being confused. So there you have it. Definitive science.

One comment

  1. Congratulations!!! I had no idea you were expecting!

    Have you ever read the novel Middlesex? The grandmother uses a spoon to predict babies’ sex. You might want to try that one.

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