Well, it is that time again when the chilean bloggers blog together.  Last time we talked about chilean men and I was not a fan of the topic. This time we are blogging about Chilean Women and I am even less of a fan.  In fact, I didn’t know what to write yesterday.  This morning, however, while reading the New York Times, I decided that I would write about Gabriela Mistral because, well, there was an article about her in the newspaper and she is a revered Chilean woman.  Here is what the NY Times has to say:

“Mother of the Nation,” poet and lesbian?; Gabriela Mistral of Chile Re-Examined

By LARRY ROHTER

Published: June 4, 2003

Nearly a half-century after Gabriela Mistral’s death, her presence can still be felt almost everywhere in Chile. There is probably no town in this country that does not have a street, square or school named for her, the first Latin American to win the Nobel Prize for literature, and her poems and essays have long been part of the school curriculum.

But ”the mother of the nation,” as Mistral is often called here because of her poems for and about children, is now the focus of a controversy that is forcing a re-examination of her life and work. The recent publication of her private journals shows that she had a love-hate relationship with Chile, while a biography and a film project argue that part of her ambivalence stemmed from what is described as her lesbianism.

”Mistral is a legend and a myth,” Jaime Quezada, the scholar who edited ”Blessed Be My Tongue,” a 290-page selection from her journals, said in an interview here. ”She is part of our national patrimony, and everyone thinks that they know her. But the paradox is that only now are we beginning to have a direct and truthful relationship with her work.”

An even greater paradox is that most of Mistral’s six books of poetry were published abroad before appearing here, where they received mixed reviews. In the newly issued journals and notebooks, she wonders why ”nobody in Chile likes me,” in contrast with Pablo Neruda, a younger poet and future Nobel laureate whose work she had championed. She repeatedly expresses exasperation with the conservatism and indifference of Chilean society.

”Chile has no brains or common sense yet, it has no maturity,” she wrote in one typical entry. ”I pray for it.”

Born Lucila Godoy Alcayaga in 1889, Mistral began writing as a child and took her pen name from a French poet when her first collection, ”Death Sonnets,” was published in 1914. At first she earned a precarious living as a teacher, transferring from one remote rural school to another. Later she became headmistress of a prestigious private girls’ school here in the capital.

”I lived in isolation from an illiterate society whose daughters I educated and which disdained me as badly dressed and badly coiffed,” she complains in one journal entry.

Mistral left Chile in 1922 and in a sense never returned, even after the awarding of the Nobel in 1945 finally brought her acclaim at home. After working in Mexico in a government educational reform program, she joined the Chilean diplomatic service, spending the rest of her career as a consul in Spain, Italy, Portugal, Brazil, Mexico and the United States, visiting Chile only three times. She died on Long Island in 1957.

Since her death, Mistral’s image has been remade and manipulated, especially during the military dictatorship of Gen. Augusto Pinochet, which went so far as to put her face on the currency’s highest denomination note at that time. In the 1970’s and 80’s, she was packaged as a symbol of social order and submission to authority, ”a uterus birthing children for the motherland” in the memorable phrase of the writer Diamela Eltit.

”After the 1973 coup, Mistral and her religiosity were used against Neruda and his atheism,” said Luis Vargas Saavedra, a leading Mistral scholar and a professor of Latin American literature at the Catholic University of Chile. ”Any time an official representation of Chilean culture was needed, it was Mistral and not Neruda to whom they turned.”

Since the return of democracy in 1990, Mistral and Neruda have enjoyed roughly equal official status here. But to a generation of young Chilean readers she seems a fusty spinster, the antithesis of the eternally hip and contemporary Neruda, whose poems have recently been set to music by pop, rap and heavy metal groups and issued on a best-selling CD called ”The Mariner on Land.”

Mistral’s admirers argue that she remains relegated to that status because even today the official curriculum stresses the poems she wrote for and about children, many with echoes of lullabies or nursery rhymes. Her more complex, dense or disturbing poems are largely left out, as are her political essays, in which she often takes internationalist and feminist positions that were unusual for their time.

”The worst enemy of Gabriela Mistral in Chile has been the Ministry of Education and the teachers’ union,” Dr. Vargas Saavedra said.

Despite her close identification with motherhood and children, especially those who were indigenous or disenfranchised, Mistral never married or had children. Throughout her life she was trailed by rumors that she was a lesbian, and one passage in the journals reveals her resentment at that.

”About Chile, the less said the better,” she wrote. ”They’ve even hung this silly lesbianism on me, which wounds me in a way that I can’t even put into words. Have you ever seen so big a falsehood?”

But in ”A Queer Mother for the Nation: The State and Gabriela Mistral” (University of Minnesota Press) Licia Fiol-Matta, an assistant professor of Spanish and Latin American Cultures at Barnard College, argues that ”Mistral was a closet lesbian” and that her posthumous ”consecration as a celibate, saintly, suffering heterosexual national icon” is at odds with the reality of her life and work.

”Although hard documentation of her sexuality simply does not exist, it is quite possible that Mistral’s exile was in part sexual,” Dr. Fiol-Matta said. ”Certainly, the assumption of the schoolteacher’s image resonated with her need for self-protection when she was in Chile.”

The appearance of the Fiol-Matta book comes as a Chilean director-screenwriter team based in Mexico have announced plans to make a movie of Mistral’s life in which her American secretary is to be portrayed as her lover. ”Gabriela Mistral was completely and totally a lesbian and spoke and wrote from that vantage point,” the screenwriter, Francisco Casas, a former member of a gay arts collective here, said.

But the project has been heavily criticized in Chile. The government arts agency has turned down a request for financing, and a mayor in Mistral’s home area in the Elqui Valley has warned that he will do everything to prevent the filmmakers from shooting there. ”We are not going to permit them to attack one of Chile’s greatest cultural references,” the mayor, Lorenzo Torres, said.

Volodia Teitelboim, the Chilean author of the biography on which the screenplay is partly based, has also complained about the movie, saying he ”could find no proof” of Mistral’s lesbianism. He described the film as an attempt to ”besmirch the memory of a great Chilean and Latin American woman.”

When asked about the dispute, Dr. Vargas Saavedra said: ”You cannot say that Mistral is a lesbian writer. In all of her work, there is not a single text in which she presents herself as such.”

As if to undermine the claims that Mistral was a lesbian, the love letters she exchanged with a married male poet while a young woman are to be published here later this year. But at the same time, the literary detectives are hard at work in their search for new material that can clarify the question of Mistral’s sexual orientation and the impact it may have had on her poetry.

”That one reference in the journals was the first and only time I found a reflection on or complaint about this issue of lesbianism,” said Dr. Quezada, who is also a director of the Gabriela Mistral Foundation. ”But there are a lot of letters still out there.”

And, since many of you (not the chilean blogger readers, but others) may not know her writting.  Here is one poem:

Pine Forest

by Gabriela Mistral

Let us go now into the forest.
Trees will pass by your face,
and I will stop and offer you to them,
but they cannot bend down.
The night watches over its creatures,
except for the pine trees that never change:
the old wounded springs that spring
blessed gum, eternal afternoons.
If they could, the trees would lift you
and carry you from valley to valley,
and you would pass from arm to arm,
a child running
from father to father.

So, this was a bit of a copout.  Although, I can link back to when I have written about current day struggles of Chilean Lesbians and a Gay Rights Protest in Santiago.

And here are the other blogs that have blogged on the topic:

Kyle
Tyffanie
Lydia
Florencia
Sara
Emily
Shannon
Jessica
Heather
Sheabel
Abby
Amanda
Renee

This is a continuation of Reporting Suspicions of Possible Missing Child or Child Trafficking: Part I: My Story.

First of all, please get out your cell phones and program in the following numbers:

National Center for Missing And Exploited Children: 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)

Human Trafficking Information and Referal Hotline: 1.888.3737.888

Non-emergency Police Number in Your Area: Sorry, can’t help you here… you will have to look this up

I hope that you never have to use these number for your own child or for anyone else… but if you do, often it is important to have the numbers immediately.

Also, if you feel something is wrong– trust your gut.  At worst, you could be wrong.  At best, you could save a life!  I wish I had done more in my case– I wish I had gotten someone to check the guy out and not called after the fact.  Don’t give yourself that type of doubt: call.

Here are some red flags that people can be aware of…

Common Work and Living Conditions
The Individual(s) in Question:

• Is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes
• Is under 18 and is providing commercial sex acts
• Is in the commercial sex industry and has a pimp / manager
• Is unpaid, paid very little, or paid only through tips
• Works excessively long and/or unusual hours
• Is not allowed breaks or suffers under unusual restrictions at work
• Owes a large debt and is unable to pay it off
• Was recruited through false promises concerning the nature and conditions of his/her work
• High security measures exist in the work and/or living locations (e.g. opaque windows, boarded up windows, bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.)

Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior

• Is fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, or nervous / paranoid behavior
• Exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up “law enforcement”
• Avoids eye contact

Poor Physical Health

• Lacks health care
• Appears malnourished
• Shows signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture

Lack of Control

• Has few or no personal possessions
• Is not in control of his/her own money, no financial records, or bank account
• Is not in control of his/her own identification documents (ID or passport)
• Is not allowed or able to speak for themselves (a third party may insist on being present and/or translating)

Other

• Claims of “just visiting” and inability to clarify where he/she is staying / address
• Lack of knowledge of whereabouts and/or do not know what city he/she is in
• Loss of sense of time
• Has numerous inconsistencies in his/her story

Children in particular

• Is sexually explicit or mature beyond age
• Is seen being touched by adult in provocative manner
• Is being promised things by adult
• Does not seem to know the person(s) he/she is traveling with

If you see any of these red flags or have a “bad feeling” or “gut feeling”, call and make a report to the numbers above.

Last week I was in Chicago doing some sightseeing.  On the way up to the Sears Tower, I took notice of the group behind me and felt uncomfortable.  Something in my gut told me something was wrong.  The group consisted of: One adult white middle aged man, One Eastern European girl approximately 15 years old, One Asian girl approximately 6 years old.  For me, these were the red flags:

• None of the people seemed to know each other very well.
• The man asked the teenager if she had been in a tall building before and she responded that a man in Vegas took her up a tall building.
• The man was promising the children he would take them on trips and buy them dinners.
• During the 15 minute movie they showed, he had his arm around the little girl and was stoking the back of the teenagers neck.
• The girls seemed uncomfortable.

So, here is the dilemma…. what do you do in this case?  I mean, there was nothing more than my gut that told me something was wrong.  To make matters worse, I had no cell reception at the top of the tower.  Sometimes I worry that I see too much into other people’s action because I work in the field of counter-trafficking and counter-child-prostitution, but S also said he felt like something was wrong.

In the end, I made sure that I had photos of each of them in case I was right. I also tried to listen in on conversations and to talk to the girl (admittedly, a small effort, because I just started chit-chatting about some souvenirs she was looking at– she responded and quickly moved away).  When we got down, I called the National Center for Missing Children to make a report.  They suggested that I also call the local Chicago Police.

Here is the first problem: I didn’t have the numbers in my cell phone and I wasn’t sure who to call (please see part II for how to report and please program these numbers into your cell phone).

Here is the second problem: The Chicago police I spoke with did not take me seriously; in fact, they yelled at me.  Since I am still frustrated by this part of my conversation, I am going to tell you about it.  I called the police (non-emergency number) after talking to 2 other national hot lines.  Needless to say, one hour had elapsed.  Here is how the conversation went.

Police Woman 1: Hello. Chicago police, how may I help you?

Me: Hi. I would like to report some suspicious activity between a man and two children at the Sears Tower.

Police Woman 1: Are you there now?

Me: No. It was about 5:30 pm.

Police Woman 1: Then why are you calling now?

Me: Because I already made a report to the National Center for Missing Children and they suggested I make a local report as well.

Police Woman 1: So, what do you want me to do?

Me: Make a report.

Police Woman 1: Okay, I will transfer you to a district one officer.

Police Woman 2: Hello.  How can I help you? (please note, no one had given me their name at this point)

Me: Hi. I would like to report some suspicious activity between a man and two children at the Sears Tower.

Police Woman 2: Are you there now?

Me: No. It was about 5:30 pm.

Police Woman 2: Then why are you calling now?

Me: Because I already made a report to the National Center for Missing Children and they suggested I make a local report as well.

Police Woman 2: Did you report this to a security guard?

Me:No.

Police Woman 2: Why not?

Me: Because it didn’t occur to me at the time and I don’t know what they could have done.

Police Woman 2: Did you call emergency?

Me: No. I had no signal.

Police Woman 2: Did you talk to the man?

Me: No.  (side note: talking to the man is NOT a good idea.  He could be dangerous)

Police Woman 2: So, what do you want me to do?

Me: Make a report.

Police Woman 2: Well, I don’t know what I would do with a report.

Me: You have a department dedicated to human trafficking and child victims of sexual abuse.

Police Woman 2: No, we don’t.

Me: Yes you do. You have a grant from the Department of Justice.

Police Woman 2: No we don’t.

Me: Yes you do, your police officers came to a training in St. Louis!

Police Woman 2: Fine, what do you want the report to say.

….. I described each person and what happened and what the red lights were. I gave the best description I could of each person down to eye color, nationality, things said (for example the older girl came from a country where money was different colors)…

Police Woman 2: How much did the man weigh would you say.

Me: I am bad at estimating, but my fiancee thinks he was about 100 kilos.

Police Woman 2: 100 what?

Me: Kilos. Kilograms.

Police Woman 2: 100 pounds?

Me: No. Kilos. Its a different unit of measurement… my fiancee is from Chile…. I am sure whoever reads the report can google the conversion rate.

Police Woman 2: Yea, I can’t do that. I am gonna leave it blank.

…. (more description)…

Police Woman 2:Do you want to add your phone number to this?

Me: Yes please, it is 414

Police Woman 2: (interrupting) I am sorry, I can’t take a non-local number.

Police Woman 2: Can I put you on hold.

… (on hold for at least 5 minutes)…

Police Woman 2: I am going to transfer you to our special victims unit.

Me: Thank you.

Police Man 3: Hello. This is Detective So-and-so.

Me: Hello. Did they transfer over my report with this call?

Police Man 3: No. Don’t know what you are talking about.

Me: Okay. (Deep breath) I would like to report some suspicious activity between a man and two children at the Sears Tower.

Police Man 3:Oh, that is in district one, let me transfer you there.

Me: NO!!!! I have already talked to them… I would like to talk to a specialist in child victims or trafficking victims.

Police Man 3: Okay, what did you see?

Me: (entire story again)

Police Man 3: Well, we will get the report from District one on Monday.

Me: The woman taking the report refused to take some information including my phone.

Police Man 3: Do you want me to take your phone?

Me: Yes please, its is….

Police Man 3: Okay, someone will call you

I have to say— I am not holding my breath for a phone call. I told each policeman that the reason I was calling and not just leaving the report with the National center for missing and exploited children is that Sears Tower takes a picture of each group going up.  Sadly, no one was interested.

*** For the record, this is just me venting. It is not intended to dissuade people from calling and making reports.  It is amazing the number of victims who have been freed because a neighbor, a person in line, or a stranger felt that something was wrong and reported it.  I am sure this will not happen in my case, because i was not lucky enough to get someone on the other end who got what I was trying to say.  If nothing, this just reiterates the need for police training on issues of human trafficking and child prostitution***

Taken: New York City, August 2008

S and I have always lamented in Chile about the small amount of microbrewery beers that are available and how few places carry them. Although I really like some of the microbreweries around, for example Kuntsmann (the big one) or Del Puerto and Die-something-or-other (sold at Patagonia), they are hard to find and don’t have the array of flavors and types as in the states. Therefore, we have been binging on beer since we got here. Here are those I can think of:

1. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Cattail ale
2. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Cream City, a pale ale
3. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Organic ESB, which was really good
4. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Riverwest Stein Beer, a lager
5. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Eastside Dark, a lager we didn’t really care for
6. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Klisch, a pilsner
7. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Cherry Lager, one of their seasonal beers which is quite tasty and a bit tart
8. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s White Beer, another seasonal brew
9. Lakefront Brewery in WI’s Pumpkin Lager, another season that is wonderful in its delicate spiciness
10. Sprecher’s Black Bavarian which I love
11. Sprecher’s Hefe weiss, which we both loved!
12. Sprecher’s Brown Pub Ale, which was tasty!
13. Sprecher’s Amber ale
14. Sprecher’s Mai Bock.
15. Sprecher’s Shakparo, which is supposedly west african in nature
16. Sprecher’s Octoberfest, which we thought was boring!
17. Sprecher’s Abbey Triple, which S said was possibly the best beer he had ever tried
18. Sprecher’s IPA2, which we didn’t care for
19. Sprecher’s Piper’s Scotch Ale, which was way up there with Sprecher’s Abbey Triple
20. Sprecher’s Mamma Mia’s Pizza beer which is brewed with real oregano, basil, tomatoes and garlic.  It actually smells like a pizza which for a beer is wierd!
21. Leinenkugel in WI’s Berry weiss, which was a bit too sweet
    
22. Leinenkugel in WI’s Honey weiss, which we didn’t really like
23. Leinenkugel in WI’s Sunset wheat, which we loved
24. Leinenkugel in WI’s Red, which was ok.
25. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s Raspberry Hefeweizen, which is possibly my favorite beer of all time
26. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s Dry-Hopped APA, which was Seba’s favorite of the Schlafly
    
27. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s Oatmeal Stout
28. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s Pale Ale
29. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s No. 15, another that Seba loved
    
30. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s Pilsner
31. Schlafly in St. Louis, MO’s Hefeweizen
32. Tsingtao, a Chinese beer
33. A vietnamese beer that I can’t find the website or name for
34. Tripel Karmeliet, which was S’s favorite with a hint of vanilla
35. Kwak BEL, which we both liked had a flavor of coriander and a rich amber color
36. Hennepin Farmhouse Ale, we did not like this one!
37. Lindemans Apple, which was increadibly sweat and more like a cider. I really liked it but S didn’t care for it
38. Capitol Brewery, also in WI’s, Rustic Ale
39. Blue Moon’s Belgian White a long time favorite of mine that S also liked
40. Some Blueberry beer in a random bar in NY that was really tasty
41. Spotted Cow from WI’s New Clarus Brewing Co.
42. A non-alcoholic beer that was so good we didn’t know it was non-alcoholic until several hours later when my mom told us
43. Lindeman’s Framboise, an incredibly sweet but wonderful treat from Belgium
44. Belhaven, a scotch ale from Scotland that was not a hit
45. Sam Adam’s boston lager
46. New Belgium’ Fat Tire
47. An Irish brew at an Irish pub that may have been called McCormack or something along those lines
48. An Indian beer, but I am not sure which one
49. Zatec, a Czech beer
50. Guinness, on tap.
51. Sierra Nevada Pale ale
52. Pyramid Apricot Ale
53. Strongbow cider
54. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Honey Lager Light
    
55. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Bavarian Weiss, this was S.’s favorite
56. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Water Street Amber
57. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Pale Ale
58. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Old World Oktoberfest
59. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Munich Lager, this was my least favorite
60. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Raspberry Weiss, I loved it
61. Water Street brewery in Milwaukee’s Stout, Yummy, coffee flavored
62. Rathskeller Amber Ale

Not bad for a one months trip!

The first thing I thought when I heard McCain’s running choice is that it was completely strategic.  He is hoping to get some of the voters who continue to be heartbroken that Clinton wasn’t chosen.  But, let me be clear, this choice should not be about body parts!!! Just because she is a woman does not mean that she stands for women’s rights. The idea that I would vote for her because she is a woman frankly is offensive and flatly wrong. Here is a bit of information on who Palin is (sent out by Moveon)

Who is Sarah Palin? Here’s some basic background:

• She was elected Alaska’s governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.¹
• Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.²
• She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000. ³
• Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.⁴
• She’s doesn’t think humans are the cause of climate change.⁵
• She’s solidly in line with John McCain’s “Big Oil first” energy policy. She’s pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won’t be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.⁶
• How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.⁷

Sources:

1. “Sarah Palin,” Wikipedia, Accessed August 29, 2008
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Palin

2. “McCain Selects Anti-Choice Sarah Palin as Running Mate,” NARAL Pro-Choice America, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17515&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=1

3. “Sarah Palin, Buchananite,” The Nation, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17736&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=2

4. “‘Creation science’ enters the race,” Anchorage Daily News, October 27, 2006
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17737&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=3

5. “Palin buys climate denial PR spin—ignores science,” Huffington Post, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17517&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=4

6. “McCain VP Pick Completes Shift to Bush Energy Policy,” Sierra Club, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17518&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=5

“Choice of Palin Promises Failed Energy Policies of the Past,” League of Conservation Voters, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17519&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=6

“Protecting polar bears gets in way of drilling for oil, says governor,” The Times of London, May 23, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17520&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=7

7 “McCain met Palin once before yesterday,” MSNBC, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=21119&id=13661-7249450-xb66iEx&t=8

Taken: Valparaiso Chile from Cafe Turri
Date: May 2008

Just a little reminder that most people in most places in the world do no use dryers.

Slowly I have been meeting Chilean bloggers that I really like, people who have something in common with me. These meetings started with Kyle and talking to her online via our blogs for about 10 months before meeting in person. Once I did meet her, I also met others as she seems to be the queen bee of Gringas married to Chileans online. Anyway, this week Kyle decided, via a suggestion from Heather, that we should all do posts on the same topic on the same day. This will be our first, the topic is Chilean men.

To tell the truth, I am not sure what to say about this topic. I have known many over the years in a variety of ways: boyfriends, host fathers, host family (brother, cousins, uncles), friends, teachers, strangers, and drunk men in bars. I guess the first thing I am wary of is making generalizations. For example, I would say generally that Chilean men are very sexist. For example, I have a (host) uncle who has a habit of telling me that I really need a macho man in my life. The implication is that this way I would learn my place in the world. I always respond that I would like to see someone try to put me in my place that way!

Several months ago I went to a dance club with some friends. I was the only one not in a couple there. Dancing with the group, another man came up to ask me to dance. I told him in no unclear terms that I really wasn’t interested and that I was happily dating someone else. He said he didn’t care, that he too was dating someone, and he just wanted to dance. He danced with me for the rest of the night at a respectful distance; we barely spoke. At the end of the night, he did ask for my number. I reminded him that I was dating someone and uninterested in a relationship or romance, but I did give him my real number. It seemed the right thing to do as he had been a gentleman. He called twice. Both times I was on the phone or out with friends and told him I couldn’t speak. Admittedly, the first time he called I didn’t even remeber his name– his name is Cristian. After the second time, he sent the following text (or something very similar):

You a very pretty, but very mean. I am not going to waste anymore time on you!

The sense of entitlement was infuriating. I had done nothing to lead him on and yet he oozed a macho attitude that claimed I owed him something.

Another aspect of Chilean culture and Chilean men is the difficulty of creating and maintaining relationships between males and females. I have been told repeatedly by Chileans (both male and female) that friendships between men and women are impossible because there is always sexual tension and that the basis of any friendship is always one side wanting more. Heather also has touched on this here in her blog, although she also focuses on the difficulties of female-female friendships in Chile. While I have successfully maintained multiple friendships with men in the US, I have definitely struggled more with this in Chile. The male friendships that I have in Chile are always described as “sister-like”. My ex-roommate, Lu, who is one of my best friends, always refers to me as a sister figure. This is sweet and we have a great, playful, honest relationship. But, the terming, also demonstrates how there is little space for female-male friendship between the non-related.

That being said, I have many examples of men in Chile who do not fill this code. S is possibly more feminist then I am. He is outspoken and friendly. He maintains multiple, longterm friendships with women. He doesn’t see women or wives as property. Lu recognizes and articulates many of the ways in which he is macho in his outlook. How he is jealous and sometimes controlling. He also articulates the need for women to have sexual freedom and control over their lives. M, a friend I have through Lu, wants to go to the States and become a sex therapist– a profession he sees a sorely lacking in Chile. He talks freely about how Chilean society teaches girls and boys that they can’t be friends, that friendship is impossible. He complains at how both sexes are shuffled off into their own boxes and not free to explore specific themes. Girls are not supposed to play sports or ask boys out. Boys are not supposed to explore their emotions. Both genders are crippled by this.

Other blogs that are participating (I will update to the specific link as the show up and list the title of the post, ones without title are just blogs that promised to participate):

Kyle: Chilean Men

Heather: Chilean Men

Emily: Group post: Chilean Men

Tamsin (Chilean men’s complete devotion to the female species)

Tyffanie: Chilean Men

Katina (style and male sex symbols)

Mandy (Chilean men compared to U.S. men)

Leigh (having friendships with Chilean men)

Shannon (Chilean male drivers)

Meredith (Chilean men’s intense need to be in a relationship)

Lydia (a completely spot on list of generalizations about Chileans)

Jessica (guy love in the Chilean form)

Rita, aka Kyle’s mom (her impression of S. as a son in law, his friends, and a few male tour guides)

Renee (gay Chilean men)

Taken: July 27th, 2008 at S’s house.
This was our parting shot before loading up the car to go to the bus station to take a bus to Santiago to be picked up and brought to Grandma’s for dinner to be taken to the airport to get on a plane and come home to Wisconsin. Harley, the pup, was ready to go.

I travel a lot– some people ask if it is because I don’t like the US, or alternatively, they ask what I miss. When people ask me this question, I usually stumble for an answer– mostly I am living in the present and not really thinking about the past/ comparing things. That said, Heather just did a 100 things I like about Chile post and it, coupled with being recently back in the States and remembering all the things I missed, got me thinking. Therefore, I give you my list of 35 things I miss/like about the states.

1. The diversity.
2. Kopps ice cream– really this is a Milwaukee specific thing but Kopps frozen custard is the best ice cream type treat in the world and well worth a visit.
3. National Public Radio. With shows like All things considered and A prairie home companion, I really couldn’t ask for more.
4. My friends
5. and my family
6. Lesbian bars and community in general.
7. Driving.
8. Tree lined streets.
9. Diversity in food. After this past year in Chile, Indian food and Thai have been particularly wonderful (and different).
10. Non-stop coverage of the olympics (granted this only holds true for the Olympic season– the rest of the year I can get annoyed at some of the things that are granted non-stop coverage).
11. Free nights and weekends minutes on my cell phone. In Chile the phone was so expensive that people only had very short conversations. While I appreciate this sometimes, in does make it hard on long distance relationships.
12. Significantly less whistling men and men making inappropriate comments on the street (although, admittedly, Cambodia was even better in this respect).
13. The weather– again a seasonal thing… but I came to a wonderful summer from a cold winter so it had to make the list.
14. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Everywhere. And treated well!
15. Parks with lots of things to do. Over the weekend I spent several hours in Forest Park in St. Louis– they have two museums, a zoo, row boat rentals, paddle boat rentals, several restaurants, a bike path, a jogging path, soccer fields, baseball fields, and much more.
16. Little league. I don’t actually like to play. Or to go. I just like that it is there. That communities have organized sports leagues for children and not just pick up games. When I was little, I was never picked up for pick up games, so I hold a grudge. I did, however, love my local swim team. Well, I loved it until I didn’t anymore but that is a longer story.
17. Doggie parks. Although, most of the time Harley can’t go. She is just not a friendly dog to strangers or to strange dogs.
18. The West Allis Farmer’s Market in Milwaukee– yes, there are bigger and better farmers markets in other places I have lived, but I also have a special place in my heart for this one.
19. Independent bookstores like Left Bank Books in St. Louis.
20. Also, second hand book stores like Half Price Books.
21. My parents condo. It may not feel like home because I lived here, but it does because it is so familiar. Also, friends and I can walk to the bars and then walk home, thus making the designated driver a thing of other cities for us.
22. Megabus. I am going to Chicago next week and I got my tickets there and back really cheap because I bought early. The way it works, the first tickets are cheap– as cheap as 1 dollar– and then each subsequent one goes up in price. Not really sure how this works as an economic model, but it sure does as a marketing model!
23. Back to school sales.  Now, I am not a bigger shopper and I do wear clothing until it has literally disintegrated on my body, but I do like a good deal. I especially like a good deal when I am down to one wearable pair of shorts and in dire need of some work cloths.
24. Coffee shops that sell Alterra coffee.
25. Mini-golf.
26. Roller skating rinks.  Side note: when I was little, I had my birthday party every year at one.
27. Salad dressing, preferably a wide variety. (Chile was just lemon, oil and salt.)
28. My bank is here and I can get money out of it, or an ATM, without paying exorbitant overseas rates.
29. Knowing that health care is good– although very expensive.  Please keep in mind that it was not great in Moldova (except at the Peace Corps office), or in Cambodia, and while it was fine in Chile I had a few problems with ambulances leaving me stranded with a cracked head and being admitted for “being difficult” when I “refused” to stand up for x-rays.  They failed to mention I fainted every time I stood up.
30. Free refills on drinks (tea, coffee, lemonade, ice tea)
31. Microbrewery and a HUGE variety of beer.
32. The schooling system.  I really appreciate liberal arts educations.  Not just mine, but also that of those around me.
33. Montessori schools that actually teach in the Montessori tradition.
34. Meals large enough for me to get a doggy bag and have dinner the next night at home.
35. Many options for spice both at the store and in peoples houses.