It began in the late 1920s when Lou Henry Hoover, the wife of President Herbert Hoover, sat for a portrait taken by photographer Edward Steichen. The stately image appeared in the May 11, 1929 issue of Vogue—just a few months before the stock-market crash that precipitated the Great Depression—and started a now long-standing tradition of the nation’s First Ladies appearing in the pages of the magazine. Here are some images of the smart, powerful women who stood beside the U.S. Presidents —from Eleanor Roosevelt to Jacqueline Kennedy to Nancy Reagan to Michelle Obama.
Now that you have seen lots of these photos, I want you to notice something: all the first ladies look regal, beautiful, powerful. But they also all look passive. I love Michelle Obama’s photo most of all because it shows her as active as a participant in life, in work, in politics. A partner, not a decoration.
Am I reading too much into this? Maybe.
Did other first ladies work and make a difference in politics? Certainly.
But, I love the photo of Michelle doing something because it helps to convey power and too often women who are active and powerful hide that in the name of beauty. So, enjoy:
Messy Nessy did a great piece on What Model Posses Would Look Like in Real Life. The above video is from that piece and shows reactions of public as average size women standing in public places in these awkward positions. Check out the piece for the pictures and commentary by the artist who pulled these together.
As I look at magazines on plane trips or in doctors offices, I am routinely surprised by how everything is sexualized, women are made to look powerless or childlike, and bodies that are anorexic are contorted even further. This is not something I want to aspire to be. This is something, which now I can say, I am accepting not being. This is something that when I was younger, I did secretly want. This is something that I can now analyze and understand as wrong. Why do we, as a society, accept this as beauty? Even make it the standard?
Who stands like this? It is awkward and uncomfortable.
School girl fantasies. Why do we promote them? What does this teach our girls? Honestly, what does it teach our boys?
Being that I work overseas, you might expect that I would use today to talk about Trafficking in Persons in the country I live in currently (Albania). Or, the country I just came from (Kazakhstan). Or, the country where I did research on human trafficking (Chile). Or, the country where I knew children who were trafficked (Moldova). But, today I won’t do that. I want to talk about human trafficking int he country I call home (USA).
The sad truth is that human trafficking continues to be a problem in the US. Yes, in large cities: New York, LA, Boston. But also in rural areas of the country, small towns, suburbia.
A few jobs ago, I worked with some victims of human trafficking. Men who were lured to the US with promises of jobs and money to send home and instead ended up working in slave like conditions in Middle America with their passports confiscated and the door to the house they lived in padlocked from the outside. After several months, someone put in a tip and they were freed. They were freed, but they weren’t compensated for their losses. They were free, but they still had to explain to wives and children what happened to them. They have been free for years now, but I am sure their experience still haunts them. Honestly, their stories still haunt me.
An estimated 14,500 to 17,500 foreign nationals are trafficked into the United States each year. The number of U.S. citizens trafficked within the country is even higher, with an estimated 200,000 American children at risk for trafficking into the sex industry. (U.S. Department of Justice Report to Congress from Attorney General John Ashcroft on U.S. Government Efforts to Combat Trafficking in Persons)
These numbers are staggering and the realities are bleak. However, in the US, there are places you can report suspected cases of trafficking. Polaris Project suggests:
If you see any of these red flags, contact the National Human Trafficking Resource Center hotline at 1-888-3737-888 to report the situation. Click here to learn more about reporting potential human trafficking situations. This list is not exhaustive and represents only a selection of possible indicators. Also, the red flags in this list may not be present in all trafficking cases and are not cumulative.
Common Work and Living Conditions: The Individual(s) in Question
Is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes
Is under 18 and is providing commercial sex acts
Is in the commercial sex industry and has a pimp / manager
Is unpaid, paid very little, or paid only through tips
Works excessively long and/or unusual hours
Is not allowed breaks or suffers under unusual restrictions at work
Owes a large debt and is unable to pay it off
Was recruited through false promises concerning the nature and conditions of his/her work
High security measures exist in the work and/or living locations (e.g. opaque windows, boarded up windows, bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.)
Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior
Is fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, or nervous/paranoid
Exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement
Avoids eye contact
Poor Physical Health
Lacks health care
Appears malnourished
Shows signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture
Lack of Control
Has few or no personal possessions
Is not in control of his/her own money, no financial records, or bank account
Is not in control of his/her own identification documents (ID or passport)
Is not allowed or able to speak for themselves (a third party may insist on being present and/or translating)
Other
Claims of just visiting and inability to clarify where he/she is staying/address
Lack of knowledge of whereabouts and/or do not know what city he/she is in
Loss of sense of time
Has numerous inconsistencies in his/her story
To request assessment tools and for more information about reporting trafficking click here. For resource packs on human trafficking and how to recognize the signs click here.
I feel somehow compelled to look back at what I have blogged, like a walk down memory lane. Maybe along the way I will remember some of my favorite posts— maybe you will too!
Words that kill? — Am I a bad feminist? I was accused of being one. Maybe I am. Here is my thoughts on punishment and misogynist pigs.
The Things You Never Know — Finding students from when I was a Peace Corps volunteer led to a huge release of emotion and a blog post that I posted in English and Romanian. (English here).
Giving up on Spanish– a wonderful video for anyone who has ever tried (and failed) to learn the language. Hilarious!
No + Discrimination– on how far Chile has come in my memory on LGBT rights and how far it has yet to go.
Not (m)any breastfeeding role modes — title is probably self explanatory. Update: Little Elephant is 18 months, she is still nursing, and I love it.
The day I became old — could have been titled from the mouth of babes (or nieces and nephews). Also, have you seen Betty White’s show? I would have never guessed from Golden Girls what a bad ass she is.
Wisconsin Temple Shooting — Much has been said about mass shootings much more eloquently than what I wrote. Too much needed to be written in 2012. But, I stand by my final paragraph: “Finally, the lack of conversation in our nation about the connection between being a white male and going on a murderous rampage, more than angers me (which it does), fills me with fear. How do we address a problem if we can’t/ don’t/ won’t talk about it? How do we look for and address the root causes? Yes, gun laws need to be stricter. Yes, mental health services need to be wider. But also we need to find a way to teach people that it is not okay to kill others. We need a way for men to be able to express their rage in an appropriate manner. We need to address the white privilege that fuels racism and hate and, yes, mass murders. We need to name the problem and address it. And we need to do it now.”
I am not sure exactly how we got on the subject, but my husband asked if I would treat our child different if she were a boy. He ascertains that he has (and everyone should have) a gender-less approach to parenting where sons and daughters are treated exactly the same.
I had to think about this.
The answer is “no”. And the answer is “yes”. It depends on how you answer the question.
I would treat them the same in that I fight for my children not to be boxed in by society’s gender roles. I want my girls to explore science. To not be afraid of being strong, outspoken leaders. And I want my boys to explore the arts. To not be afraid of showing their feelings and being honest about what is important to them (even if it is not “manly”).
However, in that treating them the same and being the voice inside their head that speaks out against the ways society restricts them, my actions might be different. I might spend more time encouraging my son to talk about and express a whole range of emotions. I might spend more time encouraging my daughter to be interested in engineering. Why? Because those are areas where our culture (in my estimation) is failing all children.
So, which is it? Would I treat a son different than a daughter?
In 2006, Liza was pregnant and in search of other mothers to answer her questions. She yearned for a one stop shop for lesbian moms to gather. Not finding quite what she wanted, she created it. Thus, lesbianfamily.com was born.
In 2007, I started writing for Lesbian Family. At the time I was living in Chile and trying to find other LGBT friendly-folk. The blogging helped me find a whole tiny world of lesbian bloggeras (that would be the Spanish for blogging women). I helped add a Spanish speaking section to the original page and am so proud to say that Julieta has agreed to be part of the reincarnation of LesbianFamily.com.
As a bisexual woman, married to a man, mother to a daughter (little elephant), and sole bread winner— I haven’t yet rejoined the ranks of Lesbian Family. I am, nonetheless, so excited for the new content and new voices. Check it out. Lesbian family is not just for lesbians. It is a great place for allies and gay dads and trans parents and anyone else who is interested. It is a wonderful space for parents who want to discuss raising allies, feminist parenting, and getting toddlers to eat broccoli.
Unlike what some people may say, voting is not just doing your civic duty. It is having a say in the politics of your country. Sometimes the choice isn’t clear and there don’t seem to be enough difference between the right and the left. In some ways, that is true in this presidential race. However, in many ways Romney and Obama truly represent different views and interests in this country.
Have a say! Get out and vote.
Do you have a vote plan? Basically, can you answer these four questions:
1) Where is your polling station?
2) What time to you plan to go?
3) How are you going to get there?
4) What ID or forms do you need to bring with you (if any)?
My plan?
I voted early. Sent my ballot via FedEx from Tirana to Milwaukee about 2.5 weeks ago.
Recently I have been thinking about parenting. Particularly about anti-racist parenting and teaching feminism. I even asked people on Facebook to suggest good books. No one did… so, if you have any ideas, please leave them in the comment section.
Then, today, I posted this to my Facebook:
And as soon as I had posted it, I felt guilty. This isn’t enough. I want to talk about raising kids. I want to sort out my feelings, learn to recognize better ways, and learn how to raise my daughter to be whomever she wants to be.
And, I recognize, that it is easier for her to act like a boy or act like a girl, to straddle both worlds of culturally defined differences.
Then, tonight, as I watch my daughter sleep, I caught up on some blogs that I read. Dresden, who I have been reading since back when she was Calliope, talked about her son wanting a skirt and then wearing it to school. She talked about her struggle to talk to him about kids being mean and how to respond that anyone can wear anything they want. She got help from other people who gave great advice.
What perfect timing. Just the push I needed to say publicly that 1) I want to think and talk about this more and 2) I want to blog about it more.
Today, my daughter wore a multi-layered pink tutu like skirt. I have come to accept, that I need to support her in all her clothing choices— from more boyish (which perhaps I am more comfortable with) to pink, frilly, sparkly, and shinny. Her choices. Her representations of self. Her person to discover.
Sometimes being overseas, I feel so distant from the realities and atrocities that happen back home. The Aurora shooting was that way for me. It was hard to believe and feel and morn. It was distant.
The shooting in a Sikh temple in Oak Creek; however, didn’t feel distant. It felt 13 miles away. 13 miles from where my parent’s live. 13 miles from where I grew up. 13 miles from where I spent much of the summer.
The other difference (for me), is that the Aurora shooting happened while I was in transition and had less access to US media. Having access to US media this time, however, just made me more angry.
Clarifying the difference between Sikhs and Muslims, while enlightening for many viewers, sends a silent message that killing Muslims would have been less wrong. It is not. It is not less wrong to kill one over the other. Killing is wrong.
The lack of Sikh voices in the media was also disturbing. Yes, I realize that it is a relatively small community in the US— but how hard could it really be to find someone in the community to speak for the community.
Next, the amount of coverage angered me. Again, silently, the lack of media coverage, especially in comparison to the coverage in Aurora two weeks early, says that the lives of minorities matter less. And, while silent, the message is loud and clear. And it is wrong. There should be the same outrage at this killing. There should be the same out pouring of support. There should be the same reaction time for flags going to half staff. It infuriates me that there isn’t. The community deserves the same level of respect regardless of color, beliefs, practices, or life styles.
Finally, the lack of conversation in our nation about the connection between being a white male and going on a murderous rampage, more than angers me (which it does), fills me with fear. How do we address a problem if we can’t/ don’t/ won’t talk about it? How do we look for and address the root causes? Yes, gun laws need to be stricter. Yes, mental health services need to be wider. But also we need to find a way to teach people that it is not okay to kill others. We need a way for men to be able to express their rage in an appropriate manner. We need to address the white privilege that fuels racism and hate and, yes, mass murders. We need to name the problem and address it. And we need to do it now.
I received an email from NAACP yesterday, asking me how much I know. The answer: embarrassingly little.
Questions centered around race and politics and questions included:
More than 2,000 men and women have served as Senators in the United States Senate, how many of them have been black?
Do you know what percentage of African Americans voted in the 2008 election?
96-year-old Dorothy Cooper may be unable to vote for the first time in 50 years because she lacks which of the following documents?*
A copy of her lease
Her voter registration card
Her birth certificate
Her marriage certificate
There are only 10 questions and the quiz takes just a few minutes. Once submitted, you are given the correct answers. I was shocked and dismayed by some answers. Outraged, at one. Filled with hope by others. Mostly, I was ashamed of how little I know and how little I have thought about the intersection of race and politics— that is saying a lot since it has been a big topic since Obama started running for president. Are we in a post-racism period? No. Should we be looking a little more in depth about the consequence of racism in our lives? Probably.
