The other news from South Africa– preventing rape

Yes, most of the news from South Africa these days is about the World Cup– admittedly, I have been following.  S has been amused that for once the US is interested in soccer even if those cheering at the bar yesterday (US vs. Ghana) clearly did not know our players names or, often, the rules of the game. Still, it is exciting that Americans car at all.

However, today, I want to talk about another piece of news from South Africa: the rape condom.  Have no idea what I am talking about? Here it is:

Still not clear? Here is what the BBC had to say:

A South African doctor has invented a device that she says will help reduce the number of rapes and ensure that culprits are caught.

Dr Sonnette Ehlers spent 40 years and over 1m rand ($135,000) developing the Rape-aXe, a female condom with ‘teeth’.

She sold her house and car to fund the project.

According to Human Rights Watch, South Africa has one of the highest rates of rape in the world.

Click on the link to hear a short piece. Still confused?  Basically, this female condom has teeth.  If a man has sex with a woman while she is wearing it, the teeth within the condom latch on to his penis, making it impossible to urinate or flee.  The doctor also says that any attempts at removal will result in the condom latching on even tighter.

So, what do you think?

My first thought was to wonder if this puts the woman at risk of being killed.  My second thought is that it is unlikely to attack an innocent man.  Don’t rape, don’t have your penis caught in this contraption. My final thought was about how systemic rape is in South Africa and how sad it is that increased rape and prostitution go hand in hand with the World Cup (and Olympics and conventions of political parties in the US and so many other events).

Strife in Kyrgyzstan

I have received a lot of kind emails concerned about my family’s and my own personal safety, thank you.

I have also gotten several emails about what is actually happening in the region.

Yesterday, the troubles in Kyrgyzstan made the front cover of The Express, also know as the local DC metro newspaper.  They are not well known for their international, in depth, coverage.  Mostly, they are just something to read on the way to work.

So, I bullet pointing some good reporting on the situation below.  Also, I want to point out that while I will be working in Kyrgyzstan from time to time, I will be living in Almaty, Kazakhstan.  Please see the above map to find me (in Kazakhstan), friends from GWB in Kyrgyzstan), and the epicenter of the violence, Osh (in Kyrgyzstan)

• Aid Starts to Arrive in Kyrgyzstan as Violence Abates
• Explainer: Kyrgyzstan’s ethnic unrest
• UN Human Rights Officials say Kyrgyzstan Violence Appears Coordinated
• Kyrgyzstan neighbours urged to open borders
• Refugee crisis worsens in Kyrgyzstan

That said, it is clear from the reports that the situation is truly awful.  In fact, from what I hear from friends on the ground, it is worse then being reported in terms of violence, casualties and refuges. Central Asia has not faced this type of catastrophe in a long time.  Honestly, I am not sure they are able to manage the humanitarian crisis now—much less if it were to get worse.

One day more…

… until my Russian exam!

Photo Wednesday: Alone

San Pedro de Atacama, originally uploaded by coming2cambodia.

Taken in San Pedro de Atacama, Northern Chile

A referral to the fraud department

I travel for my job.  I live in lots of different countries.  I have banked in many of them– all in fact, except Chile who would not give me a bank account! But, I still bank in the US.  My salary is generally deposited here. My savings (if I had them) would be kept here.  My loans are collected here.  You get my point.

I have several credit cards– doesn’t every American? But I have one in particular that I use when overseas. It is the only card I have which doesn’t charge me a transaction fee for doing things in foreign currency.  These fees can be huge and even when they are not– they add up.

So, I called that credit card to tell them I was moving overseas.  The conversation was frustrating to say the least.  Here is what went wrong:

1. The nice young woman told me that she could only put a travel announcement on for 2 months.  After 6o days I would need to call in and make another one.
2. She informed me that it would be no problem for me to call in every 2 months for 2 years because I could do so collect. (Is my time not worth anything?)
3. She told me that I needed to talk to her boss because there was a problem.
4. Talked to young man (her boss) and went through steps 1 through 3 again.  Only, at 3, I was told I needed to talk to the fraud department because I had had too many overseas moves. – Did I mention I work in International Development.  The “international” part explains the moving.
5. I spoke to a young man, from Turkey, in the fraud department.  He was the first person who knew where Kazakhstan was.  He asked how my parent’s felt about it (They are used to the idea by now and excited, I think). He promises I won’t have to call in every 60 days.

Over two hours later, I have one credit card down. Yikes! I know how my time will be spent the week after the Russian test (calling all th other cards).

Almaty Streets

Almaty Streets, originally uploaded by coming2cambodia.

Here I come!

Well… you know after I test my new found Russian skills (yikes!) on Friday. And then, get all the paperwork together and pack out the house and move.

But, exciting information. We have a place to stay in Almaty and the departure is firmly in sight.

Perhaps once I am done studying and in a new country my blogging will pick up again.

Because of a little piece of paper

You probably didn’t notice, as I believe most of my readers don’t fall into the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) family blogging circles, that yesterday LGBT families and allies around the world blogged about their families.  Some of them blogged personal stories of struggle in creating a family or protecting their families, some blogged about love and what it means to be a family (hint, just the same as being any other family only with a little more legal struggles), some were activists, many were mothers and fathers talking about the children who became the center of their world.

This year, although late, (again, blame the Russian classes), I want to talk about privilege.  As my readers know, a little over a year ago I accepted a new job in international work.  I also married a man.  We are finally reaching that point in my job, where the Russian classes are dying down and my departure to Kazakhstan feels imminent.  This is exciting! Really! It is!

And yet, at the same time, it is sad.  So often I feel this unearned privilege of having married a man thrown in my face.  What if S had been a woman? My life partner very easily could have been a woman.  And what protections would she have been given?  The unfairness of it all burns.  And, you think I exaggerate, but writing this, my eyes are welling with tears.

S got two months of Russian classes—if we had the same genitalia, he wouldn’t have.  My office is working on getting him a visa—I don’t know how this would have worked without that little pesky marriage license.  They are buying him a plane ticket.  He has preference for other jobs in the agency.  He can take classes on security, getting a job overseas, using the internet to maintain work or continue to study.  So… much… all because we have opposite body parts.

But… the love we share is no different than that I would feel if I had ended up with a woman. And that is my point.  If the love is the same. And the family is the same. And the fears are the same.  Why aren’t the protections the same?

Please take a moment, even if this isn’t your fight, and read some of the posts.  Educate yourself. (I know I learned a lot by reading the pieces) Maybe it should be your struggle too.